Q U E E R I C S

Gender-Bent Covers
Part one!

Up until the 30's, gender wasn't a huge consideration in covers: men would sing lyrics written from a woman's point of view, and vice versa, presumably because they assumed no one would actually get all confused about their orientation. I don't know what to blame for the change in thinking--Nazis? Economic depression? World War II?--but these days, it's typical for artists to change pronouns (and in some cases, whole lines) if they're covering a song by someone of the opposite sex, lest you think they're a fag or somethin'. Luckily for us, however, some people aren't afraid to put a whole new twist on familiar songs by playing them bent.

1. Sneaker Pimps, "Johnny"
Original:
Traditional; this cover was inspired by the song's inclusion in The Wicker Man.

Lyrical Snippet:
"I put my hand upon her thigh
And she said, 'Would you like to try?'
I put my hand upon her belly
And she said, 'Do you want to feel me?'"

Awesome?:
It sounds sexy and trippy and a little jungle-influenced--everything you'd expect from a Kelli-era Sneaker Pimps song. Though I can't imagine any girl saying "Gently, gently, Johnny!" to Miss Dayton, who am I to question the games they play in the sack? There are other female-vocal versions of this song floating around, but they change the "I" to "he." This one is definitely notable for sounding so predatory and feminine--not the usual combination.

2. Suzi Quatro, "Wake Up Little Susie"
Original:
The Everly Brothers

Lyrical Snippet:
"The movie wasn't so hot
It didn't have much of a plot
We fell asleep
Our goose is cooked
Our reputation is shot
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie

Well what are we gonna tell your mama?
What are we gonna tell your pop?
What are we gonna tell our friends when they say 'ooh la la'?"

Awesome?:
Suzi Quatro, the lone glam rockin' chick! I think this one is worth checking out if you're into the whole glitter rock ouevre--that includes silly stuff like Slade and Sweet, as well as the cool, critically praised bands. What I really love is the utopian fantasy of the 1970's that this cover dwells in, where the worst thing the girls' friends will say if they spend the night together is "ooh la la."

3. The Blow Monkeys, "You Don't Own Me"
Original:
Lesley Gore

Lyrical Snippet:
"You don't own me
I'm not just one of your many toys
You don't own me
Don't say I can't go with other boys"

Awesome?:
You probably know this song from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. Well, I do, anyway; that record and Queen's Greatest Hits were my favorite ass-shaking albums when I was four. This is my straight-up favorite cover of "You Don't Own Me"; the performance is fierce, you guys, in a way that only the most faaabulous people can manage. (Klaus Nomi's version is nowhere near as gay.) Whoever's trying to own this guy should probably watch his back.

4. Bryan Ferry, "It's My Party"
Original:
Lesley Gore

Lyrical Snippet:
"Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone
But Judy left the same time
Why was he holding her hand
When he's supposed to be mine?"

Awesome?:
I don't really like Bryan Ferry, but if you dig him, you'll probably love it. He wins me over with his little sob a minute in, I admit--I can't resist theatrics! If you aren't a Ferry fan and you're dying for a boy-on-boy cover of "It's My Party," don't worry. You can't swing a cat without hitting one. There are lots of queer covers of girl-group-era songs; they tend to be so overwrought and feminine that boys love camping them up.

5. Peaches, "Gay Bar"
Original:
Electric Six

Lyrical Snippet:
"Girl
I wanna take you to a gay bar
I wanna take you to a gay bar
I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar"

Awesome?:
There is a certain appeal in a version of "Gay Bar" that makes perfect sense. Of course Peaches would want to take a girl to a gay bar! That is the obvious place for two girls to go on a date! I think the charm of the original is lost, though: this is less frantic, and honestly, not much can be better than an American man screaming about gay bars for two minutes while putting on an unidentifiable European accent. Turns out that "Gay Bar" is best when you don't try to imbue it with meaning.

6. Coldplay, "Can't Get You Out Of My Head"
Original:
Kylie Minogue

Lyrical Snippet:
"I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, your lovin' is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, it's more than I dare to think about"

Awesome?:
Instrumentally, totally! The drums rock hard, and though it's a live track, the recording is excellent. My favorite bit is the crowd providing the "la la las" unprompted, as Coldplay seems to have deemed them unnecessary. Chris Martin, though extremely sassy, still sounds like Chris Martin, so proceed with caution. I like this one a lot more than the Flaming Lips' version, though--that one's a total dirge.

7. Cat Power & Karen Elson, "I Love You (Me Either)"
Original:
Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin (As "Je T'aime... Moi Non Plus")

Lyrical snippet:
"You go, you go and you come
Between me
You go and you come
Between me
Still I retain myself"

Awesome?:
Duets are tricky; there's more to them than getting a pair of nice voices and an intriguing couple. There has to be some chemistry between the singers--they have to be believable together. This is especially true in the case of a song like "Je T'aime... Moi Non Plus," which is always best when the vocalists sound like they're actually having sex. Come on, there's a reason Serge was always recording it with chicks he slept with! I just don't feel it with Cat 'n' Karen; it's too prettified, too indie-popped, no sense of urgency, no sense of orgasm. Plus, it's just never going to be as hot in English. (Where did the loins go!?) You'd be better off with Brian Molko and Asia Argento's version of "Je T'aime," I think. The couple might be heterosexual, but there's some gender-swapping in regards to who sings each line.

8. The 6ths with Lloyd Cole, "Human"
Original:
The Human League

Lyrical Snippet:
"So many nights I longed to hold you
So many times I looked and saw your face
Nothing could change the way I feel
No one else could ever take your place"

Awesome?:
It's pretty! One of those songs that you might listen to for a minute before recognizing that it's a cover, at which point you will be delighted. "Human" is a duet, which you may well have forgotten, because the female part is tiiiiny. Naturally, in this version, both vocalists are male, and it's not as satisfying as it would be if it were more, y'know, duetty. (Hey everybody: let's record a memorable queer duet, hey?) It's much more melancholy and modern than the original, and I dig it, but it kind of reminds me of "In The Air Tonight." Huh?

9. Joan Jett, "Crimson and Clover"
Original:
Tommy James & the Shondells

Lyrical Snippet:
"Ah, now I don't hardly know her
But I think I could love her
Crimson and clover
Ah, when she comes walking over
Now I've been waiting to show her
Crimson and clover over and over"

Awesome?:
You don't often find songs covered by women that end up heavier than the originals, unless you're dealing with Joan Jett. (She sounds way more butch than Tommy James, too!) It might not be her greatest cover, but it's one of the ones turned queer by her interpretation; a lot of the others were a bit gay to begin with ("A.C.D.C."), or she changed the lyrics to make them hetero ("I Love Rock 'n' Roll"). Part of me is wondering if the only reason she left this one as it is is because "him" and "clover" wouldn't rhyme. It's still pretty cute, though.

10. White Stripes, "Jolene"
Original:
Dolly Parton

Lyrical Snippet:
"Well I can easily understand
How you can easily take my man
But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene
Well you could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
He's the only one for me, Jolene
And I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, Jolene
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you please don't take my man"

Awesome?:
It's an excellent tribute: very White Stripesy without stripping the song of all its Dollyness. On top of that, what a great song to cover! I can't stop trying to figure out how a hipster-character like Jack White would end up with a man who could be wooed by a woman with a name as countrified as Jolene. My current favorite Completely Made Up Scenario is that Jolene is a drag queen. Who impersonates Ann Margaret. That does render the whole song a bit comical, though, so you may want to stick with a more bisexual interpretation.

11. Blueline Medic, "Precious Things"
Original:
Tori Amos

Lyrical Snippet:
"He said 'you're really an ugly girl
But I like the way you play'
And I died
But I thanked him
Can you believe that?
I held on to his picture
Dressing up every day
I wanna smash the faces of those beautiful boys
Those Christian boys
So you can make me cum?
That doesn't make you Jesus"

Awesome?:
Blueline Medic are a Fueled By Ramen band, which should give you a good idea of what the song sounds like. On one hand, I don't think this guy has the emotional power to really sell my favorite Tori song evar; on the other, very few men will admit to liking Tori Amos, let alone consider covering her songs. What I really love (aside from the fantastic gender-bending) is what they've done to the staccato piano in this song: they turned it into staccato guitar, which you hear in tons of emo/pop-punk songs these days, and it sounds so Tori and so much their own at the same time. My verdict? Yes, it is awesome, beyond my wildest expectations!

12. Erasure, "Gimme Gimme Gimme"
Original:
ABBA

Lyrical Snippet:
"There's not a soul out there
No one to hear my prayer
Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight
Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away
Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day"

Awesome?:
Holy shit, this is gay. What can I say? It's everything you'd expect Erasure covering ABBA to be.