Now, I understand that some of you don't know Sarah Jane, so I'll tell
you a little bit about her. She's a lesbian Eskimo midget albino. She
went to college and she started the Lesbian midget Eskimo Albino
Student Union, and four hundred people signed up. There they were,
hundreds of 'em, lesbian midget left-handed Eskimo albinos. Did I
mention the fact that she's left-handed? She's left-handed, alright.
Girl's got some strange hobbies. One of her hobbies is lowering children
into open manholes, which is kinda difficult 'cause a lot of the
children are taller than her, her being a midget and everything... or
her being a left-handed midget... or her being a left-handed lesbian
midget... or her being a left-handed lesbian albino midget... or her
being a lesbian left-handed albino midget Eskimo... life can be really
difficult on that young lady.
She bit me once, you know. Right here, ya see this? Left a mark. She was
lowerin' a friend of mine's kid into the sewer, I run up, and tried to
stop her. I said, "Listen there, you lesbian midget left-handed albino!
And you stop right there!" Then she bit me. I'm afraid I'm gonna... I'm
gonna turn into a lesbian left-handed midget albino when the moon is
Oh my God, the moon is full tonight! I can feel myself shrinking! I can
feel myself getting left-handed! I can feel myself getting the urge to
build an igloo! I can feel my skin turning white and my eyes getting
red! I can feel... I can feel the urge... to buy a Suzanne Vega album!!
No, no, no!
Oh, I'm okay; it was just gas
Did I laugh at "the urge to buy a Suzanne Vega album" for about a week? Yes.