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Voltaire, "Comin' Out For Christmas"
(2006)

Christmas, that magic time of the year
Mom and Dad are glad everyone's here
Grandpa is busy trimming the tree
And auntie made a fruitcake naturally
But her fruitcake ain't the only one at the table
And there's something that I just have to say
"Granny pass the stuffing if you are able
and by the way, Mom and Dad, I'm gay"

Yeah brought a girl with me but I paid her to be here
Hey mom and dad, that's what they call a beard
I try to make it work but the girl ain't got the gear
What can I say--I love it in the rear

Comin' out for Christmas comin' out this year
Can't wait to tell the world that I'm a flamin' queer
Comin' out for Christmas comin' out today
And here's your Christmas present: Mom and Dad, I'm gay

Take back those G.I. Joes I never liked those toys
I never did like stuff that was for boys
Bring me some Barbies even though you think it's wrong
Or better yet: Johnny Depp in a thong

Comin' out for Christmas, comin' out this year
Can't wait to tell the world that I'm a flamin' queer
Comin' out for Christmas, comin' out today
And here's your Christmas present: Mom and Dad, I'm gay

Don't look so surprised to know
It's not like I'm the only homo
Aunty Jen's a lesbian (she is?)
And I've been felt by Uncle Joe

Well now I don't expect for you to like what you've been told
And if you hate me, well, that's how it goes
Well as for me I'm off to a disco
And you can kiss my gay ass as I go

Comin' out for Christmas, comin' out this year
Can't wait to tell the world that I'm a flamin' queer
Comin' out for Christmas, comin' out today
And here's your Christmas present, Mom and Dad:
I'm wonderfully
Fabulously
Gargantuanly gay


Thanks, Dru!