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Standstill, "I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus"
(2003)

I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
Saw spots of green and red
Get these thoughts out of my head
I wish that I'd rolled over
and gone back to sleep instead

Not that there's anything wrong with that

I saw Daddy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
I couldn't make a noise
Yeah, who would've thought that he liked boys?
It seems that he's much further in the closet than my toys

What would the son say?
What would the wife say?
What would the friends say?
What would the wife say?
What would the son say?
What would the wife say?
What would the friends say?
What would Jesus say?

Then Mommy and Daddy are kissing Santa Claus
It's a three way, three way tonight
I tell you it was rough
Seeing Mom as fingercuffs
Maybe this year, since Dad is queer
I'll get some better stuff

Not that there's anything wrong with that
Not that there's anything wrong with that

I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus

Thanks, Kelly!

I don't know about you guys, but if I saw my dad kissing Santa Claus, I'd blind myself with forks.